C5 - schmokes

[wurlycorner]

I know @Donald will be mortified, but the Ostrich has started to lose its feathers...
Thanks very very much to @confused for picking up/hanging on to/couriering these down to Colchester for me over the course of evenings this week I have done this:

No before pictures of the back, but here is after;

Everything needed a damn good clean under the rear seats and the replacements needed some scrubbing to remove stuck on remnants of boiled sweets etc.
The leather seats come with a few extra toys in the back I wasn't expecting;

Arm rest

With a cubby hole inside

And some pull out cup holders



Front before;


Lifting the seat (passenger side) reveals this plastic loom guide and cover over the plugs for the seatbelt clip sensor/side airbags (plus obligatory Maccy D's chip )

Under which are the connectors.

Blue is the connector ready for the electric seats, yellow is the airbag connector (which because I'm a rebel/lazy I just unplugged with the battery still connected but ignition off - I just couldn't face doing any BSI reset cobblers or potential ECU gremlins after).
Corresponding drivers side, which has 3 connectors (airbag connector hidden in this pic);

All stripped out, including the centre console, because I thought this was an opportune time to clear up the half a cup of coffee that I had emptied into it a month ago

Clean

No evidence of coffee runs any more


The breakers had been typically heavy handed when removing the looms, breaking the loom guides (plugs were intact though)

So I had to swap the loom guide over from the old seat

I think this loom is for the autochanger, which annoyingly they had removed from the seat so I've left it out for now, hopefully pick one up soon and I'll fit it then (all the wiring is there for it);


So after the seats are installed, power to them is dead. The 4x30A fuses in the internal fuse box were already there on my car, but there's an 80A maxi-fuse that needs to be installed in the engine bay fuse box;

Having read guides on line, people said that looms need to be unplugged in order to lift it out, but I found that wasn't necessary - release the three clips with a screwdriver and it's possible to lift it up and tilt to get access;

Extra 80A maxi-fuse installed;

Table of the maxi fuses from my Citroen C5 Estate wiring manual, for info...

Sorted




Door cards are next, but they're not going in until I've painted the fake wood trim a nice silver (and picked up the bits to convert the rear door windows to electric operation).

[Drax]

brilliant reading these updates keeps my day in work amused

[Donald]

[wurlycorner]

brilliant reading these updates keeps my day in work amused

I expect they send most people to sleep!

[bb1boy]

Citroen seats have always been terrible, but the leather addition certainly helps make up for it. Plus good job on cleaning the carpet there mate! Did you use any special shampoo?

[mercutio]

looks great wurley citreon seats always look like armchairs

[wurlycorner]

Did you use any special shampoo?

My usual Ambersil interior cleaner (lovely Apple smell )

[wurlycorner]

So yesterday was not kind to the C5

Firstly, while chomping along the M25 at 'around' the speed limit, a nasty strong head wind gust (it was windy yesterday!) removed the top bonnet trim piece;

To be fair, I did know it was loose in the middle anyway (previously been removed and all the clips were broken, with just the outer bolted fastening holding it on) but it was still not particularly welcome (left me with no windscreen washers!).
The outer nut fixings were still intact and it clean snapped them off;


Been down to the scrapyard today to get a replacement (car needs to be driveable immediately, regardless of any other imminent fate - see below!).
Replacement came off an 04 plate s1 and interestingly I notice they improved the design, incorporating a through-bolted fixing in the centre of the trim panel, rather than just a plastic clip.

Then as mentioned in another thread, my car had a coming together with an unmarked traffic island.
It was just one of those things - dark, rainy and poorly lit, with road markings in typically jobby condition, so they're invisible against the shiny road surface.
I was turning right at a cross-road, from stationary and there was a van turning right from the opposite direction, across the front of me with (I could see) the back end of another car behind him that was trying to edge/squeeze up past on his inside, so I was being careful to watch that, in case it lunged forward and wiped me out (they wouldn't have seen me till they were on me, due to the angle of the van/road).
The traffic island had no bollard (there was one behind it that did, so I had seen that and was aiming to give it a wide birth!) and just wasn't visible to me at all, so when I made my move... I just ploughed straight up it

I wouldn't have even got over 10 mph, but the first I knew was a massive clonk and the car stopping dead, smell of fireworks, bongs and lights on the dash

I assumed I would have ripped the sump off, so switched off and got out to have a quick check.
Wheels had gone either side of the island (so it had gone straight under the middle of the car) and I could see the undertray/sump was up clear of the island, so I got back in, re-started and tried to reverse off so I could get clear of the junction asap - engine ran fine, but car wouldn't shift - properly beached
Citroen special trick to the rescue... Suspension up and away we went

Got it off just clear of the cross roads and pulled over to check it over a bit more thoroughly, by smartphone light...
Undertray smashed (but still attached) no visible leaks, all fluids present and correct, Rad and bumper undamaged, front subframe cross-member obviously taken a nasty beating... but apart from that... Looked ok as far as I could see.

Started up again, put the suspension back to normal height, all vital signs normal...
Re-attaching the seat belt was 'interesting'... Pre-tensioners had gone off, so were locked solid. Had to slide the seat back a couple of whirrs (electric ) remove clothing and squidge myself right into the seat, with the belt over me bar tight!

Took it for a little spin and drove ok (felt different - a bit 'tight', but perfectly safe) so with that, I headed the 44 miles home, avoiding the M25, went through central London to keep speed down etc.

I was hoping for best case scenario, get away with just 2 new seat belts, a front subframe cross-member and undertray, but was conscious that may well not be the case...

This is what I found when checking today in the daylight;

Cross-member bent down/back


Small scrape on the stiffener/skid bar


Passenger side sub-frame mount ok...

Same most definitely not true of the drivers side (the car would have hit with that part first);





As a comparison that it is not just 'superficial' type damage...
Passenger side;


Drivers side;




So, not well
Poor old girl.

[mercutio]

that her dead then? will it not pull out on a jig?

[wurlycorner]

No that won't pull out - not a sub frame at a suspension mount and where the metal has all folded over like that. Geometry and strength will never go back right. Sub frame swap is the only way to sort that.
I could pick up a used plain sub frame cheap enough from my local breakers and I had a good look at some when I was down there today) but it would take me at least 2 full days to swap and until I start pulling it apart, I don't know if I'll find anything else bent (suspension arm?) Torn sub frame mounting points etc. I just don't have the time to be fixing this one in my spare time - that's meant to be going on my other cars!
The only way to cut the time down at all would be to buy a subframe complete with all the arms, hubs, steering rack etc. Then, maybe I could do it in a full day, but a) I don't have a 2-post ramp, b) it would probably cost me £250+ for the sub frame and I would have to find one that had all good brakes, bushes, arms, rack, suspension joints etc. I can buy a direct replacement for the car for around 5-700 quid, or a lower mileage/higher spec one for not a lot more.

I hate binning good cars that can be repaired, but this one is meant to be a head car, rather than a heart one really.